Five romantic movies sure to make even lonely people enjoy the holiday
Let’s face it – Valentine’s Day is not for everyone and romance films become even more over-the-top at this time of year.
This week we review five films that, despite some romantic elements, will not make you want to upchuck from all the love.
Kill Charlie Countryman is a 2013 psychological romantic comedy-drama starring Shia LaBeouf, Evan Rachel Wood and Mads Mikkelsen.
LaBeouf is a young man who goes to Romania after his dead mom’s spirit tells him to.
Wood is the cellist whose father dies on LaBeouf’s shoulder during the flight to Bucharest, and whom he falls in love with.
The feeling appears mutual. Enter Mikkelsen, her psychotic, estranged gangster husband who has a penchant for breaking the noses of guys who look at his wife the wrong way.
The film’s premise is supposed to be cheesy, and read like a proper love story.
Maybe it’s all the whomping LaBeouf gets – dead body on airplane, broken glass to neck, drug hallucinations, being suspended by the foot over water – throughout the film, but you can watch it and not get sick from the fluff.
The poor guy gets tortured so much, you can’t help but root for him.
Some members of the supporting cast were a bit much, whether they were grim-faced gangsters or goofy hostel roommates.
But as this is classified as a comedy, you can let it slide.
Score: Eight out of 10 Cellos
The First Wives Club is a 1996 comedy starring Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn and Bette Midler.
They play women going through divorces after their husbands leave them for other women.
Originally friends, they had grown apart but reunite at the funeral of another friend, who committed suicide after her husband left her for another younger woman.
Together, they hatch a plan to get back at their ex-husbands.
This is a fabulous movie. Keaton, Hawn and Midler are hilarious.
Goldie as a plastic-surgery-addicted, alcoholic actress is someone you can find sympathy for, even more so when the ex’s much younger girlfriend wants her to play her mother in an upcoming film.
You feel righteous anger when Midler’s husband brings his much younger, downright hateful girlfriend around – sorry Sarah Jessica Parker fans, but she is a bit of a bimbo in this – especially to their son’s bar mitzvah.
As for Keaton, well, you just want to rip apart her ex for shooting down her confidence over the course of their marriage, taking her out to a fancy dinner, sleeping with her and then dumping her and revealing that he’s sleeping with her therapist.
Let’s face it; you just root for these guys to get what they deserve.
Score: Nine out of 10 Divorce Lawyers
That Awkward Moment is a 2014 romantic comedy starring Zac Efron, Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan.
They play three friends – one married, the other two living the bachelor lifestyle.
Jordan discovers that his wife is cheating on him and wants a divorce. In an effort to help him get over her, his friends take him out to a bar to meet girls.
Efron meets a girl he mistakes for a prostitute, but ends up dating her.
Teller begins dating a female friend. Jordan gets back together with his wife.
Of course, things don’t stay uncomplicated, leading to them fighting about keeping their relationships secret from one another and messing them up.
This film is unique because we only see guys freaking out over the relationship.
They are the ones being whinny and upset and livid, and it’s nice to watch.
That being said, most of the jokes fell flat – such as Teller running to tell his girlfriend he loves her, Efron cheering him on, only to get hit by a car.
Score: Six out of 10 “So…”
The Other Woman is a 2014 romantic comedy starring Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Kate Upton.
Diaz is dating a great guy.
She decides to surprise him at his house one night, only to meet his wife, Mann.
Mann, understandably upset, seeks out Diaz to talk about the situation.
They become friends and discover that the scumbag husband is seeing yet another woman.
Together, the three plot to get back at the man who played them all.
Unfortunately, this film did not live up to the trailers.
Despite the cast’s talent, the story dragged on and was overplayed.
Despite being obviously wronged, the three women came off as petty, ignorant, stupid and a little emotionally unstable.
You just could not relate to or sympathize with the characters.
Even the husband came off as some D-rated villain.
There wasn’t even satisfaction when they confronted the husband and he lost everything.
You were just thankful the movie was over, not happy that he got what was coming to him.
Score: Three out of 10 Mistresses
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is a 2010 comedy starring Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
Cera is a 20-something bass musician dating a 17-year-old, and preparing for a battle of the bands.
He meets Winstead, an Amazon delivery girl, and is smitten.
Unfortunately, dating Winstead has a catch; you want her, you first have to defeat her seven evil exes – the first boyfriend, the actor, the vegan, the girlfriend, the twins and finally, the mastermind.
All with the power of an unknown martial art featuring video game graphics.
While the use of video game elements might seem cheesy, it blends well with the storyline and the characters.
It wasn’t over the top, but rather well done, in a consistent fashion that added to the emotions in the scene.
The story itself was easy to follow and entertaining, and paid attention to the little, humorous details that are so often overlooked.
The scenes where Cera’s hat would magically appear and disappear depending on other people’s observations were priceless, and his (soon-to-be) teenage ex-girlfriend was awesome in her fangirl-ing.
The best part?
Although it is (technically) a love story, it doesn’t read like one, it’s more of a personal journey.
Score: Nine out of 10 Exes